Auto-generated, so imperfect — click any line to jump the video to that moment.
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I never intended to become a villain.
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In the beginning, my dream was to become
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a hero, a knight whose noble deeds would
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match or exceed those of my storytime
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heroes.
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I latched on to the notion that gain
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enough power, strength, knowledge, and
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resources would enable me to save myself
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and my loved ones from suffering. I
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aspired to rise above the dust I was
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born in. To soar on the wings of my own
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imagined trajectory fueled by the force
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of expectations from within and without.
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Even then, even in what seemed the
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innocence of youth, there was the
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duplicity of selfish desire, hiding the
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shadow of virtuous aspiration.
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I wanted to serve and protect, to secure
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and provide. Even still, I desired the
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power. I desired a reputation for
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stature and admiration for accolades,
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which was never more clear than in the
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frustrating moments of feeling held back
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by forces outside of my control.
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My imagination depicted grand scenes of
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the future, more eancent whims than
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concrete visions, yet still they seemed
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tangible enough to my young mind. With
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unquestionable certainty, I reached for
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the stars, not yet having grasped the
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measure of my limitations. My journey
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soon landed me in the true heart of
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civilization, towering testaments of
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technological and philosophical
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advancements, hiding long and deep
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shadows with their artificial lights.
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Slowly at first and then all at once I
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realized that there was no level of
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governance, no circle of status free
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from the corruption of imperfect people.
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I could see that there were systems in
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place designed to enable people to
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debate and decide the best course of
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action and then do it. But I could also
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see that it wasn't working. Not well
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enough for me. Not well enough to
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silence the cries of the oppressed and
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suffering.
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In my ignorant frustration and my veiled
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ambition, I sought to enforce peace,
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justice, and freedom, as though my
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circumstances were my empire to rule.
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I've reached for control when I should
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have given trust.
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I may have denied such intent, but I
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acted as though to exert my will over
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the guiding force of the universe rather
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than to submit and trust in my
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omnipresent ally, as though my hands
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could contain such a thing.
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Power is a fine tool, beautiful when
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first beheld, with an enticing radiance
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to the edge of its blade. It beckons a
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touch at the expense of your hand.
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Swords have hilts for a reason. The
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cutting edge does not discriminate.
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Only an indestructible force can grasp
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power at the source. I, as many others
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before me, had to make myself an example
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for this lesson. I couldn't just listen
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to the wisdom of my elders, those who
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were older and especially wiser, those
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whom I often resisted. I saw their
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restraint and discipline as a tether
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holding me back from fulfilling my
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self-assigned destiny, from defeating
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the dark dreams of dread and achieving
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salvation through my works.
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Before long, I had drifted from the
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light of hope into the dark certainty
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that my independent brilliance was
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inevitably steering me straight into. I
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was in control. I was piloting the ship.
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And that's exactly what was wrong.
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I feared unknown outcomes because I
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didn't trust in the force that
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prophesied of future harmony. I trusted
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my own vision over proven wisdom.
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That fear led to frustration. A
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frustration that was more than it
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seemed. It was a thinly veiled anger for
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my lack of control. The inability to
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force the outcome that I desired.
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As you may know, anger leads to hate and
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hate leads to suffering.
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My anger over the intended design of my
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limitations led to hatred for my
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condition. A condition that I didn't
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understand and couldn't appreciate.
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That hatred for everything about myself
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that I couldn't control, that I couldn't
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fix, provided no comfort or means of
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improvement.
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The only thing that it gave me was
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suffering.
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It gave me the unlimited power to
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agonize over the mutilation of my
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potential to restrain the power of death
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over life.
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Eventually, I looked at my reflection
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and called myself by the name of what I
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had become.
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I am Darth Vader.
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I may have started as an innocent child,
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but I allowed my dark inclinations to
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lead me out of innocence to destructive
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consequence. Through my weakness, it is
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those who need me the most, who have
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suffered the most from my wrath.
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I've never needed conspirators to turn
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others against me. I've done that
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myself.
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Thankfully, there was one who never gave
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up on me. the son who came to my rescue
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despite the deserved destiny that I had
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doomed myself to through the choices
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that I knowingly and willingly made to
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become his enemy.
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He never gave up hope for me. He knew
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that I could be good even though I had
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destroyed the person that he wanted me
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to be through my becoming Vader.
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He could have fought back and destroyed
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me, but instead he fought for me by
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giving himself up to be arrested by the
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Empire and sentenced to death. The
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sentence didn't stick, though.
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Darth Vader I was, but no longer of the
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darkness am I. Now
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I am myself.
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I'm not speaking of my son, precious
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though he is. I'm speaking of the son,
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the begotten son of God, who gave
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himself up to suffer on my behalf. That
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his willingness to suffer would awaken
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my spirit and teach me to love as God
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loves. He who commands the armies of
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heaven stayed his hand, to be beaten, to
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be crucified, to defeat death by
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resurrection after three days without
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breath.
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The son's name is Jesus Christ. In the
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New Testament, the word is recorded by
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John to say this. In the beginning was
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the word and the word was with God and
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the word was God. The word became flesh
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and made his dwelling among us. We have
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seen his glory, the glory of the one and
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only son from the father, full of grace
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and truth. No one has ever seen God, but
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the one and only son who is himself God
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and is at the father's side has made him
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known. For God so loved the world that
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he gave his one and only son that
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everyone who believes in him shall not
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perish but have eternal life.
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If it wasn't too late for me, it's not
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too late for you.
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If you can hear this message and
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comprehend it, you have the ability to
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offer praise to God right now for the
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redemptive love of the Son who took upon
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himself the punishment that your sin
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earned.
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How could you possibly choose to throw
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away eternity in the perfect kingdom
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that he describes in the book of
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Revelation?
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If you can speak, offer genuine words of
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repentance right now if you haven't
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already.
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Even if you are mute, if you can hear
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and comprehend this message, then you
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can offer a repentant heart and praise
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in your soul. Be assured he surrounds us
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and penetrates us. He knows our every
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thought. Study the Bible. It's literally
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the word of God. Turn from the life of
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darkness and evil. That is all that your
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independence from him produces in you.
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And give him your soul to be reborn for
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the eternity that is coming.
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Applying the word of God can be
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challenging, but the fruit is always
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worth the effort in eternity.
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I hope the way I've presented this
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reflection encourages genuine dialogue,
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both private and public, rather than
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merely passive media consumption. I'm
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Jacob Mlan, and this is the Wisdom
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Crucible, where the heat of scripture
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refineses understanding and distills
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transformation through the wisdom of the
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faith.
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If you're interested in further studies
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and reflections related to the Holy
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Bible, then you're welcome to subscribe
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and engage with my other reflections and
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teachings.
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Mediometrics drive the algorithms, but
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the word of God is what drives me, and
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that's what I hope to pass on.
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May the Lord bless you.
